Still The Same..

This time when you went to your home town I thought I will be completely out of you this time. I was too determined about the same even when you came back. I thought you cannot make me feel the same as before now because I have detached myself from you completely. But I could stay on my words just for an hour :| Your one message worked wonders and gave me the same ticklish feeling within me, with a smile. I again landed to the same point where I started from.

Now your question :- Why no reply to that question.
Yes, I din't reply because things have changed, because I don't want to feel the same way I used to feel earlier. I am being selfish because I am afraid of being doomed once again.

It was very difficult for me to come out of it and now I think I can sustain with your memories and your thoughts. I don't want any to calibrate more dreams to myself which are soothing at the moment but encloses prolonged pain in itself.

Everytime, every new day I think I will confess my love for you once again but the pain I suffered from earlier stops me from stepping forward.

But I know it from within that I love you, I still love you and I cannot pass a day without you.

Before going off to sleep you are the one on my mind. You are just like a sleeping pill to me.When I think about you and go off to sleep, it is just like my Mum telling me close your eyes if you want to see angels around you. I too close my eyes thinking of you that I might see you in my dreams.

I don't miss you, I just think about you when I open my eyes in the morning, when I pick my clothes to wear while going to college, on my way to college, in the lectures, when the bell rings and my lecture gets over, when I leave my college and I am way back to my home, on the way back to home, while having lunch, when I come online, when I play tetris, when I take my day nap, when i wake up, when I listen to the music, when I am cooking, when I take dinner, when I have my milk and when I go to sleep :)

I think my will is overpowering your thoughts :-/ I hope it will someday.

I don't know why I become red when I talk about you to someone, why my heart beats faster with a feeling of joy, why my eyes smile, there is a big huge smile on my face and I have that ticklish effect in my stomach

I cannot let that smile go off my face even with an additional effort towards it.

I have to change things as soon as possible.

I miss those days when I used to randomly pick up my cell phone and messaged you ":*" just because I missed you or your a thought about you tickled me.

Even now I do feel the same but I stop myself and keep my phone back with a thought, " No, It's over now ". It takes away my smile that I had when I was thinking about you.

Disaster..

I never ever thought that he would read all those posts that I wrote there with a heavy heart and eyes filled with tears. If ever I wanted him to know that I could have written it somewhere where it was easily accessible to him but he did read it in that dump place too :|

The moment I saw his post there in that thread I instantly deleted all my posts from there though I knew that he had already read it, but still I wanted to overcome the fear of it getting read again.

I don't know what is he thinking after reading it but I am feeling uncomfortable because I can feel my words as I meant them by heart and I am sure he felt them too.

Well, it's vain to think about it now.

All The Best :|

I still..

I still smile without you being the reason
I still eat without you asking me to nibble
I still sleep without you being there in the hallucination
I still look at my mobile knowing there's no more communication
I still speak without you being the resolution
I still live without any foundation

But my smile is no more real
And the food is no more subtle
And my sleep is no more effectual
My phone is all blank
And the speech is muffled
All you did is you've made my life an undecided puzzle.

Your love..

Loving you is not a crime

Loving you since you are mine 

Loving you without fear

Loving you with full care 

Love being always with you

Love to talk to you

Love to learn you

Love to teach you

Your love makes me dear

Your love makes me forget all the fear

Your love strengthens me

Your love mentions ME :D

You and I..

You said 4, I said no

You said yes, I said go

You left and I was cold

I said missed you 

You said who are you

I said we are lovers 

You said now it's over

I said don't go

You said let's end the show 

I was destroyed

You went unswayed